Is Love at First Sight Real?

Do you believe in love at first sight? Research from the Netherlands cited in Psychology Today suggests that of the 400 people studied, 60% have, in fact, experienced the phenomenon. Does love at first sight really happen? You decide.

As mentioned above, 60% of people studied¹ responded that they fell in love the moment they laid eyes on their partner. There is no doubt that many people feel an intense attraction when they first see or meet each other, but is that “love”? It is argued that couples have “biased memories” and years into a long-term relationship have created the romanticized idea that they fell in love instantly². What do you think, is it love, lust, passion, or a false memory?

It may surprise you, but it’s true. Men report that they were struck by love when they first saw their match. The researchers aren’t sure why this happens to men more than women. One theory is that it is based on attractiveness. There is a nine times greater likelihood that others would report the love at first sight feeling with someone they found attractive, and since men are more visual than women, well, you get the picture. Another theory is that women are more selective in whom they might date, part of the argument that women evolved to choose the most virile and committed partner. Do you think men fall more quickly and why?

What are the qualities of love? Traditionally, it is thought that qualities that are developed and nurtured over time like trust, commitment, respect, intimacy, and a host of other higher emotions are required to truly be “in love.” However, first sight subjects reported that, although those traits may not have been as strong as they are in established long-term relationships, they did, in fact, exist. Do you think it is possible to develop qualities like trust and respect so quickly after meeting someone?

So where does that leave us? Is there compelling scientific evidence either way? And is it even possible to quantify human emotion, let alone love? Comment below and share your thoughts and experience.

References

¹Naumann, E. (2004). Love at first sight: The stories and science behind instant attraction. Sourcebooks, Inc..
²Zsok, F., Haucke, M., De Wit, C. Y., & Barelds, D. P. (2017). What kind of love is love at first sight? An empirical investigation. Personal Relationships, 24, 869-885.